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  • is freaked out Phoenix firefighters rescued a man in a chimney…the heavily bearded man told officers he overslept and was delivering gifts.
  • is freaked out Billy Joel got married for the 4th time…His new single is “She’ll Always Be A Prenup To Me.”
  • is freaked out 140 pairs of underwear were stolen from a Victoria’s Secret…police are looking for someone who doesn’t like to do laundry.
  • is freaked out everyone is mad at The New York Times for suggesting to put peas in guacamole…”It’s all Mexico’s fault!” said Donald Trump.