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TWITTER

  • is freaked out a brand of coffee was recalled because it had traces of Viagra...That explains why people kept staring at me this morning.
  • is freaked out Michael Phelps lost a race to a fake Shark…the good news is they later shared a joint and watched Jaws together.
  • is freaked out 14 people a year are molested by dolphins...Can't wait for my month long swim with lonely single porpoises.
  • is freaked out a new scientific study concludes that Hooters restaurants sexually objectifies women...Another study was just called Boobs.
  • is freaked out Sean Spicer resigned...He's starting a new company called Angry Pedestals.
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